Linda Nidiffer

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I received good news yesterday. My son is alive. He hasn’t been struggling through COVID that I know of or cancer or any life threatening disease.  He lives incommunicado in nowhere New Mexico on a few acres.  He went to school out there and other than a few years in Dallas and Daytona, New Mexico has been his home since he’s been 18.  God willing, he will be 47in March.

My son divorced us or we divorced him many years ago.  I haven’t spoken to him for I don’t know how long.  My last attempt to communicate with him was a disaster.  I typed him a letter because my handwriting is not as clear as it used to be and he is dyslexic.  I thought a typed letter would be easier for him to read.  He called Tom in a rage because I thought so little of him that I couldn’t even go to the trouble of handwriting the letter!

So here is his deal:  He is bipolar as well as dyslexic. He has spells of paranoia especially when he is off his meds. He has anger issues!  Depending on how a fly lands on the table can set him into a rage.  Did I mention manipulative?  The last straw for us was when he tried to drive a wedge between this wife and this husband. I don’t do emotional blackmail very well and told him so.  He hung up the phone and I haven’t spoken to him since.

Yesterday he posted something on Facebook. So I know that he is alive and probably on his meds. He is probably not in jail.  One of his age mates who also suffers bipolar personality disorder has stolen a car, assaulted a police officer, been on illegal drugs and been in and out of jail.  My son takes his meds for a while, feels good, decides he doesn’t need his meds and then a long period of chaos sets in.  Oh, yes and all doctors are overpaid shamans and don’t get him started on insurance companies!

The problem with my son’s type of disorder is that it manifests in late teens-early twenties.  He was already in New Mexico when his first came into full bloom.  He was an adult and very far away from home by then.  As a parent of an adult child there is very little that can be done legally.  We paid for his health insurance and for his meds. We tried to monitor his mood over the phone.  We asked his friends to monitor his behavior/moods and to let us know if things were getting bizarre.

Is your kid cycling moods?  Does your kid have extreme ups and downs compared to other kids that age? Are you worried?  Mental health is no joke.  Call your doctor for help. I am sharing my heartache hoping to spare you some.  The pandemonium we have all experienced may have really traumatized your child.  Keep a loving watchful eye on your kids.  I am sorry to be such a Debby Downer but danger lurks everywhere, even in our own heads!